Twenty-Twenty-Two Wrap-Up
Hi there. I've been pretty quiet lately, haven't I? Figured the time was right to make a wrap-up post again, after it being absent last year.
2022 was incredibly challenging to navigate. The year had many lows but also many highs, and while I don't think I'll look back on it fondly, I will remember it as a year of a lot of personal evolution and discovery.
Earlier in the year I suffered through a pretty large hate/harassment campaign, and it mentally fucked me up for a while. I gave my statement on it and would prefer to just move on, so I don't want to get into why it happened. A major contributor to the mental trauma it caused me was the amount of people who I thought were friends get on board with the dogpile and just straight up cut ties with me altogether. Friends cutting ties with me out of nowhere is no stranger to my life. I've been hurt really badly before from those kinds of actions and dealt with not gaining any closure from some, but having prior experience didn't make this one any easier. Knowing how easy it is for some people to turn on others they've previously called a best friend felt like some kind of switch flipped in my head. I definitely think I've become more reserved and maybe a little jaded as a result.
Between the cracks though, I've had plenty of support at the same time. People who were willing to make their own conclusions, people who were vocal about showing support, and great friends and family who know that individuals aren't defined by their past mistakes. I value them a hell of a lot more than people who make shallow judgments and think harassing someone is a good use of their time.
Beyond that, I've had probably the most frustrating year at my day job. It's as clear as day that there won't be any opportunities to grow going forward, and I continue to be taken advantage of for the amount of work I put into it. It's like they think undervaluing their employees is some kind of game. 2023 needs to be the year I free myself so I can stop feeling miserable in a suffocating working environment.
Wow. Let's talk about the positivity that the year brought!
I adopted my first cat early on in the year. She's a black cat named Elma and I love her and she's laying on my lap as I type this. The first month was the hardest one to get past, as I kept fighting myself on whether or not I wanted to keep her. Not having a pet of this kind all of my life made it difficult for me to adapt to the new environment, and I even made the appointment to bring her back, but I'm glad I canceled it and kept her part of my life. I woke up one morning with her sleeping between my feet, and I couldn't stand the idea of taking that comfort and love away from her. It's been almost a year since I adopted her now, and I'm looking forward for more to come.
I got back into Pokemon card collecting this year. It's a lot of fun! I fell out of it sometime shortly after the Diamond and Pearl series first released. I think the artwork and types of cards nowadays are so much more exciting and enticing than they used to be, and while it can be an expensive hobby sometimes, it makes me happy.
Games this year were amazing! So many fantastic releases for me and I wish I had time to play them more often. Xenoblade 3 in particular is one I can't wait to get back into (I'm about halfway through I think) once I'm done with my Pokemon Scarlet kick. Of course, both Kirby games have been stellar and continues to make me feel excited and invigorated for the future of the series.
Most of my art output this year has been taken up by my Kirby 30th Anniversary Parade project, which has been a continuously fun thing to work on. I'm not planning on posting it here anytime soon, but I strongly encourage you to follow updates here and on my YouTube channel. It will most likely continue to be the focus of my art output going into 2023 before I start thinking about new ventures and what direction to take my art in next. It's a project I hold close to my heart and I want to see it finished no matter how long it takes me. I hope you look forward to seeing more games as they come too!
The goals I have for this year pretty much relate to what I've written about above. I want to work on self love and start breaking out of the shell I've put over myself this past year. Continue to hold my head high and not let anyone bring me down. I want to keep progressing in my personal Kirby project and see it through. I want to better my work ethic that's been dwindling for a while and find motivation that goes dormant inside me sometimes. I want my content output and frequency to increase and to keep building my presence online. And finally, I want to move forward in my personal life by finding a better job, and moving into a better place. I don't want to feel stagnant anymore.
Thanks for taking the time to read all of this. I think it wraps up the thoughts I've had boiling in my mind for a while. I can't expect anything to come out of new years anymore, but at least I can twist that into focusing on what's important to me instead.
Twenty-Twenty Wrap-Up
2020 is over. Wow, what more is there to say about last year that hasn't already been brutally talked about? How did I interpret it? Let's unpack some thoughts in my annual "Twenty-Something Wrap-Up" Journal entry.
2020 to me felt...oddly better than 2019? Despite the constant loom of the pandemic adding an extra layer of stress to everything, overall I felt much happier and more confident than I did the previous year. I turned myself around in terms of art output, and while I still feel like I have a way's to go to reach a satisfying goal, I can at least say I've actually made a lot of art this year. I still have my days where I don't want to draw anything or work on much else, but I've done a lot both for myself and for other commission work and I'm really proud of myself for making that change.
2019 had a lot of moving anxiety and depression, and that was a big factor into my general lifestyle habits and lack of art. Now that I've been settled in my new place for over a year, I'm comfortable in my own living space again, as small as it might be.
Of course, the pandemic. What a way to define an entire year. The pandemic really has shifted perspective on a lot of different things. I still get together with friends in safe conditions often enough, but I really miss going out for movies or other activities. It's going to feel weird being around large masses of mask-less people in public whenever it becomes safe again. I've been hyper-aware of my surroundings and who I cross paths with, mainly because of my job, which I have to say was probably the biggest blemish of the year. To put things lightly, I don't want to work for a company that does a less than minimal job at navigating through a pandemic, or one that makes me feel bad every time I go in, and I'm starting to seriously look at other options. That's my goal for this year. I'm not allowing any more of that negative energy anymore.
What else? In 2020 I've moved on from some personal issues that have plagued me for a while. I won't say it's suddenly easy for me to let go of the past, but I do know how much holding onto parts of it can deteriorate my mental health. I know I'm always sorta vague when I talk about things like this, but being able to type out that I feel wiser than I did before feels good.
I guess that's about it. Despite all of the awful things 2020 brought with it, I found my drive for art again, I conquered some bad vibes within me, and formed some really great friendships along the way too. When the world was burning, I can look back and see myself grow as an individual, and that's certainly not anything to overlook. Let's keep it up and look forward!
Twitter and YouTube are where you'll find me most. See ya 'round!
Twenty-Nineteen Wrap-Up
It's time to talk about 2019, a year that I think I'll remember as being one of my worst this decade.
This year was hard on me. I struggled in a lot of different areas and I can't help but to feel like I've accomplished absolutely nothing. When I look back on this year, it's hard to think of many good points. I've certainly had them and far from every day has been bad, but as a whole it just sorta breezed by. I may have stagnated in 2018, but this year it felt tenfold.
There was a lot of change that I've experienced in terms of living conditions. I started out the year living in a friend's apartment, but quickly moved out because of bad living conditions. I moved back home with my parents, but then moved out again into my own one-bedroom apartment because, well, they moved out too. The house I grew up in and have always called home is no longer mine, and that was probably the biggest hurdle I had to overcome. This is the first time I'm truly living alone. I've been doing okay and I'm keeping up with my expenses (albeit paycheck-by-paycheck), but I'd be lying if I said I didn't get lonely every now and then. I still can't get myself to call my current apartment "home" yet.
It must've been sometime this year where I started to get tired of my job. I don't want to sound like I hate it or feel miserable working there, but it's taking its toll on me. Sometimes I feel like I'm absorbing the negative energy and it's affecting my mentality, sometimes it's hard for me to want to play games because of it, and a lot of the time I'm just too tired to want to do anything after work. The job has its good moments, and I'm content for the time being, but that's just it. Staying content for too long is a bad thing, and I'm yearning for something new and art-related that I know I'll love.
Speaking of which, art. If there's one thing I'm most upset about this year, it's my art, or lack thereof. I've gone months without drawing, multiple times this year. With the things I've mentioned above, oftentimes my body tells me that it's a chore to draw anything, even when I have a lot of ideas and projects I want to do, and it just feels awful. My inspiration is there, but my motivation to do any of it is on the opposite end of the spectrum. I sank deeper into my art rut and it's a struggle breaking out of those bad lifestyle habits. I just miss being an illustrator, an animator, an artist.
I feel like I've taken a lot of people and things for granted this year. I know I've had at least one "I didn't realize how important this was to me until it was too late" happening. In a weird way I'm worried that I'm becoming more selfish, even when I can't think of anything selfish I've done. I have no reason to think that, but something fundamental about myself has shifted and it's hard to pinpoint what that is.
But anyways, 2020 is here and it's not only a new year, but a new decade. I have every opportunity for a fresh start and to turn myself around this year for the better. It might take some time for my to get out of this rut, but this rut doesn't define me, and I'm not going to let myself sit any longer.
This is the end of a decade, and I've gone so far as to make a big spreadsheet highlighting most of my life events since 2010. I won't be sharing it publicly, but it's nice getting to see how much I've evolved over the years and what I've accomplished. It tells me that there will be a lot of evolution in the coming years, too, that I just don't know about yet. This rough, empty year may have even been necessary for what's to come. I'll just have to keep going to find out.
As always, Twitter and YouTube are the places you'll find me the most. Happy New Year, all. Never lose your sense of humor going forward.
Twenty-Eighteen Wrap-Up
Well, let's start with the obvious. I stagnated this year. I stagnated hard. I look back at 2018 and most of it seems like a blur to me. I feel like I had way more bouts of unmotivation and tiredness than ever before this past year, which stopped me from doing as much as I could. I'm proud of the art I have done, but I look at how little of it I've done and feel bad for myself. I'm not proud of that. It's fair to say that I've had a lot of doubts about myself continuing, even. I hate feeling tired every time I think about doing something, and I want that changed. It needs to change before I lose faith in myself entirely.
...Gosh I hope that doesn't sound too grim. I won't be losing my passion, don't worry!
On the plus side, I've kept my current job for over a year now and I still enjoy it a whole lot. This is actually the longest I've kept a single job, and I hope to keep working it for a lot longer, but there's little doubt that I've had to compromise some time for art because of it. It's not the most demanding job in the world, and I still get some days off, but it goes back to the whole tiredness thing. I find myself being too tired to do anything--not just art, but even play games too--after working, but I think that's more of a lifestyle issue. Even on my days off I find myself sleeping in late. Maybe I should start going to the gym, or at least start doing something other than what I normally do, expecting things to magically change.
As far as games go, this was an excellent year! I think my backlog has expanded more than it has in past years, which might be because I work at a games store now, but there's just been so much good stuff to release. Kirby Star Allies was, of course, a big highlight for me; experiencing the game evolve with its many updates was so fun, and the amount of love and soul put into it really shows. It's absolutely one of my top 5 Kirby games now. But other than that, I've bought a ton of other games that I haven't touched yet due to my aforementioned tiredness issue, but I'm making it a point to play and clear more games this year. I already beat three so far!
What else is planned for this year? I have some projects in mind, as I always do. I don't really want to share what they are though, because once I do that I won't feel like doing them anymore, so please bear with me! Lots of video-related projects, is all I’ll say.
I didn’t mention this yet, but I also finally moved out again last month. I’m still living in the same city so it’s not a huge deal, but I think I’ll have to start coming up with a plan for when our lease runs out in a few months. So it’ll be interesting seeing how things play out with that going forward.
2019 will surely be a year. Years don’t last too long when you think about them in retrospect, so it’ll do me good if I make the most out of it. Lately I’ve been hearing about a lot of creators’ stories about putting stuff out there before it’s too late. You never know what’s gonna happen, after all. I feel like that needs to be me this year.
Thanks, y'all! I appreciate your love and support. You can always find me most active on Twitter and YouTube. See you ‘round! Hope your 2019 is full of confidence too.
Twenty-Eighteen Wrap-Up
Well, let's start with the obvious. I stagnated this year. I stagnated hard. I look back at 2018 and most of it seems like a blur to me. I feel like I had way more bouts of unmotivation and tiredness than ever before this past year, which stopped me from doing as much as I could. I'm proud of the art I have done, but I look at how little of it I've done and feel bad for myself. I'm not proud of that. It's fair to say that I've had a lot of doubts about myself continuing, even. I hate feeling tired every time I think about doing something, and I want that changed. It needs to change before I lose faith in myself entirely.
...Gosh I hope that doesn't sound too grim. I won't be losing my passion, don't worry!
On the plus side, I've kept my current job for over a year now and I still enjoy it a whole lot. This is actually the longest I've kept a single job, and I hope to keep working it for a lot longer, but there's little doubt that I've had to compromise some time for art because of it. It's not the most demanding job in the world, and I still get some days off, but it goes back to the whole tiredness thing. I find myself being too tired to do anything--not just art, but even play games too--after working, but I think that's more of a lifestyle issue. Even on my days off I find myself sleeping in late. Maybe I should start going to the gym, or at least start doing something other than what I normally do, expecting things to magically change.
As far as games go, this was an excellent year! I think my backlog has expanded more than it has in past years, which might be because I work at a games store now, but there's just been so much good stuff to release. Kirby Star Allies was, of course, a big highlight for me; experiencing the game evolve with its many updates was so fun, and the amount of love and soul put into it really shows. It's absolutely one of my top 5 Kirby games now. But other than that, I've bought a ton of other games that I haven't touched yet due to my aforementioned tiredness issue, but I'm making it a point to play and clear more games this year. I already beat three so far!
What else is planned for this year? I have some projects in mind, as I always do. I don't really want to share what they are though, because once I do that I won't feel like doing them anymore, so please bear with me! Lots of video-related projects, is all I'll say.
I didn't mention this yet, but I also finally moved out again last month. I'm still living in the same city so it's not a huge deal, but I think I'll have to start coming up with a plan for when our lease runs out in a few months. So it'll be interesting seeing how things play out with that going forward.
2019 will surely be a year. Years don't last too long when you think about them in retrospect, so it'll do me good if I make the most out of it. Lately I've been hearing about a lot of creators' stories about putting stuff out there before it's too late. You never know what's gonna happen, after all. I feel like that needs to be me this year.
Thanks, y'all! I appreciate your love and support. You can always find me most active on Twitter and YouTube. See you 'round! Hope your 2019 is full of confidence too.